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Disclaimer: None of this is meant to be offensive, racist, or to be taken seriously. If you are easily offended you may wish to leave this page. None of the descriptions in here are of anyone that I know personally so don't think I'm talking about you if you happen to fit into one of these catagories....as we all know.. Shit happens.. deal with it!
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That I didn't think of this first -
http://www.youcouldbeonfire.com/duh.html
Free Font Sites that aren't free - websites that offer free fonts that you have to pay for :|
People who don't know how to speak English - Immigrants who refuse to learn to speak English when they decide they wish to move to America really piss me off. Learning the English Language should be a standard. If you don't speak my language don't speak to me because I sure as shit don't speak yours.
Dogs that don't speak english - I've had to teach my boyfriends dog to speak english so I can tell her what to do. It was easier than teaching myself German believe me, this was much much easier. Besides I feel that all residents of the U.S. should learn English.. hint hint all you foreign speaking bastards.. learn the damn language.
Age reminders - why do people insist reminding me that I'm going to be 32 on my next birthday?? I know how old I am, and I can add '1' to it and get the right number. I've just chosen not to deal with it.
People who confuse me with someone else - Why do people insist I'm someone else? I'm not from NY, I've never spoken to you, I don't give a shit what you think and don't want to hear it. I'm pretty sure I know who I am, who the fuck are you and why do I care?
YaElite's Font Monster - Why does Elite insist upon eating my font after I've typed maybe 6 things in the room? Fucking crayon eating bastard anyway.
Algebra - Can someone please explain to me why I should care that x-1 over x+9 plus 2x-5 over x-3 equals 3x^2+9x-42 over x^2+6x-27 or what good that is possibly going to do me in day to day life?? No?? I didn't fuckin think so but hey thanks anyway.
Solve for "X" - Ok people..sometimes when doing algebra you're not just solving for "X" When I put an algebra problem up as a status message DO NOT tell me to solve for "X" as that obviously isn't the solution. If you think you have a solution that you got by solving for "X" please feel free to use that on YOUR next Algebra test.
Ventless gas cans - What kind of crackhead invented the ventless gas can? Was it purely to cause you more embarassment than you've already suffered by making it take 15 minutes to pour 2 gallons of gas into your tank? Have you ever noticed that when it's cold out and your friend runs out of gas on the side of the road the ONLY kind of gas can you can find is a ventless gas can?
Gas station idiots who want to impress chicks - Guys that work in gas stations who see two good looking girls and want to be helpful but don't know how to put the damn crackhead invented ventless gas can back together after they fill it with 2 gallons of gas that's going to take me 15 minutes to pour into Epona's gas tank anyway.
Finish the bottle of Jack but no free shot - What kind of shit is that? Well that's the way things are done at Lord Stanleys in Dekalb.. every other bar in the world gives you a free shot out of the new bottle :|
Wiggers - ok.. these are people who are born white but wish they were black. Sorry you think you were born the wrong color. This really isn't racist just fact... but if you're white, red, yellow, green, or black, I don't want to see your underwear and crooked hats just look stupid.
Girls in bars with pigtails - this is moronic. Pigtails are for little girls and babies, if you come to a bar dress like an adult. Oh and a continuous checkered pattern makes those who have to look at you nauseous.
Extremely large women that wear pink fuzzy shit - What is the deal with this? Every extremely large woman I've ever seen thinks wearing something fuzzy and pink is going to make them look cute.. hello?? have you ever heard of "pink elephants"? Take a look in the mirror before you leave your house.
Guys who talk to my tits - Seriously dude... Yes they bounce, they jiggle, and look like they're paying attention but they really aren't and even if they were they aren't going to answer you no matter how much you talk to them.
Using words I wouldn't normally use - I've found myself saying 'dude' a lot, Thanks Epona.. it's all your fault. And just so you know Bryan has informed me that "dude" is an ingrown hair on an elephants ass. :|
My Kids - Don't get me wrong I love em to death but I think they do things to irritate me on purpose.
People who shit in public restrooms - Hey asshole, curtesy flush would be nice...
Using Chat abbreviations in normal conversation - Ok, it's just embarrassing when you say shit like "lol" "stfu" and "bma" on the phone :|
Typos - When Epona corrects mine :)) Fuckin English Majors anyway.
Name Changes - Like I'm supposed to automatically know who people are when they say "Hi Shelby" If you're going to change your name all the damn time get a font that easy to remember or don't get pissy when I don't have a freakin clue who you are.
Wireless Internet - It's supposed to be fast, it's supposed to be good. It's neither. It disconnects you for no reason whatsoever. It just feels like it at the most inopportune moments of the day:|
Forgetting to hit copy - When I forget to hit copy before I paste something and Epona calls me a fucking moron (she's a bitch & we have a very strange relationship)
When my computer dorks out - Epona trys to blame it on user error, but it's not (please refer to previous entry... she's still a bitch)
When people say "exactly" what they are going to do - and then they don't do "exactly" what they said. Nuff said there I think?
The slurping noise that dogs make when they lick themselves - Is that not the most irritating, discusting noise you've ever heard in your entire freakin life? Stupid dogs
Camel Jockey's - Hello? HELLO? HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Fuckin idiots. Refer to the second thing that annoys me and learn to fuckin say somethin in English besides Hello.
Cleaning and making a bigger mess - It really pisses me off when I decide to clean out my house and have a bigger mess than when I started...wtf...
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